I wasn't going to do a New Years post. I came down to my boyfriend's parents' house and brought in the new year with his family and terrible spiked punch. I wanted the new year to pass peacefully in the midst of a lot of anxiety. But then I thought perhaps I should look back and reflect.
I put together my favorite outfits of the year. I often forget that my blogging experience always started as an outfit blogger and that it is perfectly reasonable to show how I style myself. I have been thinking a lot about the importance of style and fashion (amidst many long confusing thoughts about life and my goals and everything terrible like that) and I really just go in circles about whether it is horribly superficial or wonderfully empowering and transformative. I have decided that it really depends on what your motives are when working in fashion. I like to create. I love telling visual stories through clothing. That has always been why I wanted to work in fashion. It is very easy to get caught up in the empty, easy side of fashion. But I like styling that takes a little more thought, a little more challenge. After working in fashion this year and becoming more active in blogging, I still think this is worth while. I think self-expression and creation is worthwhile.
I want to be better at documenting my own self-expression in the next year. I felt rather distant from myself in 2014. There were absolutely wonderful, warm, loving parts of my 2014. But there was also a lot of lost moments, a lot of sadness and emptiness. I am working on accepting that and coming out of it, because sometimes I still don't feel like myself. And so I look back at 2014 with acceptance and an admiration of growth. I look forward to 2015 with hope and happiness for what is to come, even though I have absolutely no idea what that may be. And that's okay.