this is about nostalgia.

I have this collection of photos on my Flickr called "growth." It's basically all the photos I took from the time I got a camera when I was 14 to the time right before I entered college and took a formal photography class. I think that point--me entering college and leaving home for the first time--kind of marked a future of self-consciousness in myself and my work. Before then, I made what I felt without too much thought. Since then, it hasn't been that way. I think I have created moments that harken back to the purity I had before that point, but so much of what I have made and lived recently has felt very calculated. I have loved some of my work I've made in the past few years. But the photos I took as a teenager are so much more poignant. I don't know if they are that way to a viewer other than myself. I think it's my own memories that make them so meaningful. Each photo from that time...I remember what the air felt like that day, what song I had stuck in my head, which boy I liked. They bring back days that have a certain color to describe them rather than a word.
And so many of them were taken for my blog. I had a blog when I was 15 called "Oh, Bother". I miss those days of blogging. It wasn't the commercial show that blogging is now. I felt like then we were a bunch of young girls who, yes, liked fashion and posted outfits, but also dealt out honesty much more frequently than the blogging community does now. And it wasn't even honesty in a blunt way. It was just us recording our feelings and what happened in our little lives. We were searching for connection with each other more than exposure in the big bad world of fashion or commercialism or whatever this is. 
Anyways. What I'm saying is I miss the honesty. I miss the rawness of my photos from high school. They aren't even "good photos". But I am so deeply in love with them and how I completely allowed myself to feel the things that I felt when I took those pictures. 
I don't know, maybe I will make a book of these photos just for myself. All I really want is to go back inside of them.

i got bruises on my knees for you
your favorite worst nightmare
My Heart Aflutter


Friends Who Make Things: Amy Hodkin

Amy Hodkin is the blogger behind The Creative Outlook. She is studying Printed Textiles and Surface Pattern Design and is producing some awesome work. I wanted to include her in my “Friends Who Make Things” series because she was one of the first people I talked to when I started blogging and she has continued to be an inspiration. Her work is so...her own. I was able to chat with her about her work, the daunting task of following your dreams, and Alexander McQueen.

Jenna: Hi Amy! You are one of my favorite artists in the blog world and you are at such an exciting time in your artistic career! I love to see young artists pursuing their passion and kind of tackling this time of great potential ahead of them. Your work is so expressive already; I can’t wait to see what comes next. How are you liking your experience as an artist and your time in school?

Amy: Thank you that's so kind. It's quite scary actually considering this is the route I've chosen and even though university might help me make contacts nothing is set in stone. The thought of my future makes me worried because I definitely don't want to have to work in retail or a cafe ever again and going down the art route is always a difficult one. It's everything I ever wanted it to be although it's more of a design course so I wouldn't call myself an artist. Right now our focus is on experimentation which I love, but I think the importance of applying the designs to fashion/interior/etc. comes within the second year and the problem with design is that sometimes going down the commercial route is the easiest... I'm not sure I want to do that ever- I'm not sure I could do it!

J: Totally, working in art and design is a weird scary path to take, but it comes with the biggest rewards. Things may not always go the way you think (Lord knows I have no idea what I am doing), but unexpected cool things can happen along the way if you keep working at what you do. All your experimenting seems really cool and like its giving you a wide variety of experience. What have been your favorite projects? Do you think you are moving more towards a specific style?

A: That's so true, I've actually stopped myself from trying to imagine the perfect outcome because it never turns out the way I think it will. It means I don't have to get my hopes up haha! That's probably why I love all of the experimenting, it gives me a chance to look at what works and what doesn't in terms of my own personal style. I'm actually really loving my current project, the module is based around 'slow crafting' and I've chosen to do paper screen printing with the theme of animals. My Photoshop project was great fun too because I love how fast you can work with computers!  I think I can see a style emerging but I don't really know how to describe it... I know drawing and collaging are definitely my favourite ways of working when it comes to putting ideas onto paper.

J: Your blog is an explosion of creativity. I love the title, "The Creative Outlook", because to be an artist you really need to see every part of life as a chance to find inspiration and be open to experimentation. That's why I particularly love your collaging and journals. Do those sort of come into fruition as you gather things and make them, or do you plan out themes and visual paths beforehand?

A: It makes me happy that you said you like the name because some days I think it's really bad haha! But that's a cool summary of it and actually very true. I never plan my journals or collages, I think if I did then I wouldn't enjoy it. I just grab a load of stuff (papers, photo's, magazines) and then play around with it! I don't have to worry about anyone seeing it so it gives me a chance to just 'let it all out' and create things I probably wouldn't do on my course. 

J: Where have you found the most inspiration in your life? Any artists, designers, films, places, or memories stand out? How do you think it translates to your work?

A: Hard question which I always struggle answering but visiting art galleries is ALWAYS a good start for inspiration because you could find anything there. I love Alexander McQueen, and I know that's one designer I'll never not be inspired by. My favourite part about his work is the theatrical side- the way he puts on a show and tells a story. The clothes are beautiful too, but when everything is brought together with stage, music, lighting and a concept that's what I really love. His collection 'Joan' is inspired by Joan Of Arc, so lot's of the clothing was made from chain mail but also inspired by menswear as well. Their hair was styled to show big foreheads, they wore red contacts in their eyes and when the final garment came out the model was surrounded by a ring of fire. It was quite sinister- I admire the thoughts he put into things to create an atmosphere. For Givenchy he designed a collection called 'Eclect Dissect' and said that his idea was based around a mad scientist who cut up women and mixed them all back together. I really love the story telling aspects and you can tell he had so much passion. I think that's inspiring- I could list off a reel of artists and designers I like but the thing what makes them great is that they're passionate about what they're doing. When I see them creating new work it makes me want to make something!

Thank you Amy for taking the time to talk with me! These are a few of my favorite of her pieces. Take a look at her blog here and her portfolio here!


cross my heart

Look, look I embroidered this! I have been wanting to start embroidering things for a while and I finally made this! I am so excited about it. (If you can't tell, it's a heart with vines growing around it). Also I accidentally put it on the opposite side of my body but whatever let's pretend like I didn't do that. Also important: my beautiful powder pink matte nails and my Rocksbox ring from two posts ago.
 I feel like I have pretty solidly reached a "dgaf" kind of place in life and that's actually really exciting because I've pretty much proven I don't do things the traditional way and might not find a traditional job. But I like weird things and I like being different and I like making things and I want to continue on this path. I feel more myself than I have in the last year and I think it's because I am just embracing what I care about and realizing some goals are just not mine. 

Also for the last 24 hours I pretty much have been making this and watching the incredible miniseries Over the Garden Wall. It's a weird cartoon that I think I had a lot of influence on my heart design. It's amazing, watch it.


ah yes, a jumpsuit

I saw this jumpsuit at Cocomont Vintage Shop and fell in love. Matti and Ben were nice enough to let me take it home. It had huge shoulder pads, which my body just can't handle. Suddenly my shoulders are wider than my hips and then just all of me looks huge. So no to the shoulder pads, they had to go. But YES to this jumpsuit. It is a challenging piece, but I had a lot of fun styling it with a lot of gold and these booties. 
Be sure to check out Cocomont Vintage Shop and the shoot I did of them!


Rocksbox + a Surprise for youuuu, dear reader

I have always wanted to be a member of one of those boxes that send you monthly things. But I am not very adventurous in the realm of beauty products and I have too many shoes. I will, however, always accept more jewelry. And that's why I am so excited about Rocksbox! I have never taken on a sponsored post before, but Rocksbox (click here pls) really is awesome. They are a monthly service that will send you three pieces of jewelry based on your style profile. You can wear the jewelry for as long as you want, return them, and they will send you new jewelry. You can also keep any pieces you want and they will just bill your account. NEW JEWELRY ALL THE TIME, FRIENDS. That's what I'm about.

 Aaaaand the best part is I have a code to give to you guys for a month of Rocksbox for free! Use the code nibinquielxoxo at checkout in the next 30 days for a free month of the prettiest jewelry. 

I got this pretty delicate necklace, cool bangle, and "Cross My Heart Ring". I ran outside and took pictures just wearing a simple Zara shirt but someday soon I will wear something interesting haha.
Look how friendly the packaging is. They know my name!!!!
This is my first ever collaboration with a brand on my blog. I wouldn't have chosen to post about it if I wasn't totally satisfied and excited about it. The product is all high-quality and they actually really pay attention to what your personal style and preferences are. So happy with it. 


random nyfw favorites

1. Hellessy
OH MY GOD the things I would do to live in this collection. These pieces are so dramatic but so very live-able. I have a unspoken rule about the kind of things I wear: I need to feel like I can kill a man in them. These looks would definitely drag on the ground a bit, but they seem move-able and downright powerful. I suppose the lethal feeling also comes from the fact that the collection was inspired by Dracula. The styling is really what brings the looks to a serious level of badassery. Sleek hair showing off hard metals on the ears and a polished dark lip add to the drama. 

2. Jonathan Simkhai
This presentation was texture-heavy. The sheer and cut-out trends have been popular for a while now, but I feel the surface detail is really what make these pieces more special. I love how veiny it all looks, whether those be human veins on the first or leafy veins on the second look.

3. Tia Cibani
I just spent a good while staring at these trying to figure out why I love them. And then, lo ho ho, I got it: they remind me of the incredible animated film Anastasia. Victorian looks in a weirdly deserted luxury hotel. Yesssss. It's a photographer's deram. Or mine at least. I love the distance the viewer feels from this mysterious but very young girl in velvet. It's almost like she never left this hotel. And also her hair is an amazing bird nest.

4. Kaelen
This one just made me so happy. The stripes remind me of Mary Poppins (are you getting that my fashion choices tend to stem from films?) and the silhouettes are feminine and easy. Everything is extremely well-tailored. Sometimes it is just nice to find well-made pieces that will do the talking for you.

5. Kanye West x Adidas Originals
Whoops I did it. I went and chose Kanye to talk about. I generally don't know what I think about Kanye. I am amused by his ego but I think he actually does have something different to offer to the world. I like his music. I don't understand how he is a father(???). His style (and Kim's) is mostly on point. I am not cool with the wave of shit-talking directed at Beck because of his Grammy rants. I will forever think Beyonce deserves every award, but like Beck is rad, too, Kanye, calm down. I still feel Kanye's point, but he can be pretty brash and disrespectful and it is very off-putting. So I tend to just be neutral towards Kanye and watch him do the thing he clearly loves most: creating. Therefore, enough on the Kanye commentary and on to his collaboration with Adidas. 
There is something so intriguing about this collection. What drew me to it initially were all the tights. Why is everyone enveloped in nylon? It's the thinnest possible protection. But that is what makes all the bodies so alien and uniform. It's like normcore that has gone through an otherworldly war. He cited the military and the London riots as inspiration, hence the eerie presentation and war-torn sweats. I guess when you mix violence with fashion--namely sportswear-- you get this disturbing child army. And this is the strange paradox about Kanye. He has created this unsettling visual piece and then goes off to gift his shoes to Justin Bieber and Kendall Jenner. I dunno, man. It's so weird, but I love it.
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