There is something that I have been thinking about recently that keeps surfacing in different ways. Taking up space. It started with this video going around Tumblr a while ago:
My GOD, if that didn't stick with me. Growing up, I never really had body image issues to the extent of them being a problem. But it is things like this that bring my attention to the extent to which our patriarchal society tries to control women. Even if I never had an eating disorder or worried too much about my weight, the ideas in this video were always laid heavily within the standards to which I held myself. We are told to be smaller and take up less space because we have been told that that is what femininity is. But really, this is just another damaging attempt to control us. The exploration of this idea continued when I found the article Wide Stance on Bitch Media. It included the quote:
From Emily Dickinson (who once wrote to a male friend that “I have a little shape…. It would not crowd your desk, nor make much racket as the mouse that dens your galleries”) to the beauty culture that has nearly always deemed the thinnest, smallest, and, frequently, palest, women to be its most desirable and valuable, the message is that the measure of a lady can be taken by how little of the world she takes up.
The article documents the difference between men's allowance of space (being comfortable to spread out on public transportation, their general body language, etc.) and women's (who shrink into themselves and allow others more space while in public settings). This observation has really caught my attention because even something so small as the way we sit on a subway can say so much about the standards to which we are held. It's so terrifying to me that all these ideas of what a woman "should be"are almost inescapable. I find myself thinking about this when just standing at work or laying down at home or shopping or whatever--I have been conditioned to feel that I should take up less space. Because we are not worthy of the space. This reflects in how we hold ourselves around others and how we treat our bodies: always wishing for them to be smaller. It scares me, but it empowers me to take back my space.
You know, I never thought of it as taking up space... but it was always about holding to some ridiculous female standard or another. And it's true that we're conditioned to try to stay out of the way, be more indirect - if not you're a b*tch, or unladylike, or whatever. But sometimes I think, who wants to be a lady when the standards are so impossibly unfair? Lest I go on a whole feminist rant I'll just wrap it up by saying that I love this article of yours... I always come back to your blog for the writing in the end.
ReplyDeletehttp://lasaloperie.blogspot.com
that video's so good! and i completely agree with you, so glad that you posted this as i may not have seen the video or article otherwise! xx
ReplyDeleteI can see how this is a belief of women to take up less space in terms of looks, but personally I don't believe in that. I believe taking up less space is a matter of etiquette and politeness sometimes. xx opinionslave.com
ReplyDeleteFucking amazing. I'm gonna share this on twitter :) xx
ReplyDeleteHaha you are the best.
DeleteOh I'm also going to share it on tiwtter <3
ReplyDeletehttp://coeursdefoxes.blogspot.com/
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You are the best also <3
Deletethis is so interesting and so true....and it all changes when you are pregnant, out of necessity! there's just no way you can be a slip of a wisp, last time my baby was breech so i read that i need to be sitting with my legs wide open, hips always open and relaxed...i feel like such a bro! which is weird, and funny, and not really fair. also, i feel way more demanding about having some space while shopping or whatever, i want people to respect my space and my belly. which is NEVER something i would normally think about! emily dickinson was a strange and quite a diminutive gal. thanks for the interesting thoughts tonight!
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